weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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