Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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