Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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