I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
