too bad you live with your parents still
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize
