Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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