The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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