I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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