Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You need Xanax blowdarts
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize