haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
