Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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