Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
