She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
