I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
