I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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