yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
