Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
