It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
