oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
