The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
