You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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