I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dear god my vagina.
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