yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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