Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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