The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
