I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
