also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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