Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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