My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
