I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
