i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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