Dual....:-)
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
