You can't motorboat a personality
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
