Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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