Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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