we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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