Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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