I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
