You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
