I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
