Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
