I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
