it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
