Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
