Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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