just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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