after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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