If that was your dad, he is hot
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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