just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
