I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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