seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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