i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
